New Addition to the Robbins Family

Well it's been a crazy week. Quick overview: Arrived in Shreveport around 4:00 AM on Tuesday, November 24th. Went to our hotel and slept a few hours, headed over to the hospital around 8:00 AM. Met Toccara, our sweet birthmom. Baby was born at 10:31 AM. He weighed 7 lbs 0 oz. and was 19 inches long. He has a lot of tight curly black hair. Spent all day Tuesday at the hospital, mostly with Toccara. She didn't have anyone come to stay with her and we didn't want her to be left alone, so we spent the majority of our time with her. What a sweet girl, we really grew to like her and it seemed she felt the same about us. Wednesday, November 25th (our Kinsie's 12th birthday) she signed the paperwork at noon. Ty and I were on pins and needles, but everything went really smoothly. Thursday, November 26th (Thanksgiving Day) Toccara and baby were discharged from the hospital around noon. It wasn't until that moment that I truly felt like he was ours. I started to choke up a bit as we left the hospital as I felt such gratitude and love that he was ours, but also gratitude and love for Toccara, as well as heartache for her. What an emotional experience! For those 2 days we were with Toccara, we really didn't get to hold or love on the baby, because we were always with her and we didn't want to make it harder on her than it already was. We went to our hotel with the baby (who is still unnamed! The names we were thinking of don't seem to fit!) and spent a couple of hours with him. I ran next door to Cracker Barrell and got Thanksgiving dinner to go. We enjoyed that time, but it was hard to see Ty go. So now it's just me and baby for the next week or so. Last night was tough, but today has been really good. I have enjoyed him so much and it's funny cuz I think he looks like our other kids. I've been able to Skype with my parents in Israel, so they got to see him. I also Skyped with our kids while they were at Ty's parent's home for Thanksgiving. It was really good for me to see them and I think they were happy to see the baby. We are doing well and are so grateful to everyone who has been praying for us!

Adoption Update - It's a GOOD one!

Exciting news! We got a call yesterday that the birthmom we sent our profile to a while back, called and wanted us to be her baby's family. This morning we had a conference call with her and it went really well. She is soft spoken, but is very confident in her decision. She called our agency when she was 11 weeks pregnant. She's known since the beginning that she was going to give this baby up for adoption. She is due December 4, but is scheduled to be induced Tuesday, November 24th in Shreveport, Louisiana. An interesting fact is that her first 3 kids are girls and her 4th is a boy, who was born the exact same day as our Brigham. So this little boy will fit into our family exactly where he was in her family. We are so excited, but are going a little crazy trying to figure out flights, hotels, paying the agency, and figuring out who will watch the kids while I'm gone 7-10 days. I'll miss Kinsie's 12th Birthday and Thanksgiving. Kinsie seems a little sad, but okay because of the excitement of getting a little brother. So I guess things could change if she goes into labor before she is scheduled to be induced and then there is always that chance that once the baby is born, she decides she wants to raise it herself. But for now, we are getting things in line and preparing for bringing a baby boy home in a few weeks.

Fall Break San Diego/Borrego Trip

Our kids had Fall Break last week and so we decided to go to Borrego Springs and San Diego. We had a great trip, but the best part for me was the fact that I did it! Over the past 2 years as my health declined, we never even thought about a big trip like this. We went to Disneyland with Ty's family a year and 1/2 ago and we rented one of those scooter wheelchairs for me and I crashed for a couple weeks after we got home. This time, no scooter for me, I walked and sat and came home tired for a couple of days, but wouldn't consider it crashing. So, we are so excited about this progress! (If you know anyone struggling, please get them in contact with me. This hormone therapy has truly been life saving for me!)

So we started out on Tuesday night and drove to St. George, then left Wednesday morning for the 7 hour drive to Borrego Springs. We love visiting Ty's grandparents in Borrego. When you are there you feel like you are staying at a free resort. My kids have a hard time believing Ty's grandparents can live in a place where the closest fast food restaurant is hours away and there's no Wal-mart or Target anywhere either. Unfortunately we were only able to stay for a day & 1/2. Ty's grandma was having knee replacement surgery on Friday morning. So we left BorregoThursday evening for the hour and 45 minute drive to San Diego. But it was enough time to visit Papa at his cement plant and ride in the back hoe

to do lots of swimming in Mimi & Papa's pool,

and eat at the yummy local taco shop. We had a great time! Thanks Mimi & Papa!

Then it was off to Sea World. It's been about 5 years since we went to Sea World last. Macy was 2 and got a Shamu stuffed animal, she named it Shampoo. Pretty cute. Brigham wasn't feeling great all day at Sea World, but we still had lots of fun!

Ty and the girls on Atlantis (above).
Kristen and the girls on Atlantis (below).

Watching one of the shows.

Ty & the girls on Waterfall Rapids.

Saturday morning we got up and headed to Carlsbad to spend some time at the beach. The whole morning it was foggy. I was bummed because the kids don't get to see the ocean very often and we never once could see more than about 100 yards out. But the kids still had lots of fun, starting out a little nervous and cautious and by the end, I was hollering at them to not go out so far. Macy found some sea shells, Kamryn had fun burying herself in the sand, Kinsie had the most fun jumping the waves and Brigham had fun borrowing the 8 month pregnant lady in a string bikini's daughter's shovel and bucket. She highly recommended a local fish and chips place and we agreed as we enjoyed our fish or shrimp and chips. Yum!

That evening BYU was playing SDSU in San Diego. This is quite the stadium. We actually had gotten 3 seats from our brother-in-law and then bought 3 seats from a scalper (sp?) and basically just walked in, found 6 seats together and sat down. The stadium is so big, no one ever came by and told us we were in their seats.

At the end of the game, we were able to give high fives to quite a lot of the players.

All in all a very successful trip!

Adoption Update

Last Monday we got a call about a situation. A birthmom due in a couple of weeks coming to Utah that day. The only bad deal was that she wanted a family with 1 or 2 kids. The agency only had 2 families to show her, ours and a family with 3 biological kids. We got a call Tuesday morning that when she went to her Doctor's appt, she went into labor and had the baby. We had a trip planned to San Diego, we were leaving Tuesday evening. So, I kept debating if I pack or not. Well, we got a call around 2:00 in the afternoon, that the birthmom didn't pick either family. I was really upset the rest of the day, thinking about that little baby in the hospital without a family. I guess our agency posted on their blog and through word of mouth, they found a family. I felt really discouraged, but the best thing was that we went on our family trip to San Diego. (Pictures to be posted later.)

Today I got another call about a situation in Missouri. The birthmother is white and the birthfather black. She's due on November 25th (Kinsie's Birthday). So our profile is being overnighted today. Hopefully we'll hear back by the end of the week.

Adoption Update

So, the last thing I told you was that our profile was being shown to a birth mother in Louisiana. We have been waiting for almost 2 & 1/2 weeks since we told them to show our profile. We found out that this birth mom wanted the agency to pick their best family for her. So our profile was the only one sent to her. They told us if the birth mom wants the agency to pick, they usually end up with that family because they are trusting the agency. So we started thinking, this must be the one. Well, I got a call today from the social worker telling me that she can't get a hold of this birth mom. She's left her lots of messages and haven't heard from her. We knew that it would be hard to get a hold of her because she's in Rehab. But I guess they feel like we've waited long enough. So, she told us they have a few more cases they are working on, so they'll get in contact with us if one of them matches up with what we are looking for.

I don't know how people do this, I'm trying to just not think about any of it, so that I don't get attached prematurely. But, as a family we pray constantly about finding our little brother and son, so it's hard to not think about it when you are praying kind of people, I guess.

Kamryn and Macy - Soccer

Kamryn played on a rec soccer team and a competition soccer team (I know, I'm crazy, Kinsie's competition team needed a couple extra players, so we signed her up after she was already doing Rec). Her rec team was great, and she played awesome, I'll have to brag and say that she was one of their top 2 or 3 players. Her team won the championship in a really tight game, it was such fun.
Go, Kamryn, go!

The trophy was huge! She was thrilled!
She's on the bottom row, 2nd from the left.

Macy was awesome in soccer this year! She scored in almost every game (I'm trying to remember if it was every game). She has awesome legs and I didn't realize how fast she was until this year. Maybe she has some of those Beckstead running genes. It was also fun to watch her kick with both feet, she's pretty capable with either one.
Macy & her friend, Whitney

Great action shot with hair flying!

Fighting the goalie, beat her to the ball, Macy!
Leading the pack.
Brigham loves cheering for his sisters!

Lucky Me???

So Ty killed an elk a couple of years ago. I still have much of the meat in my freezer, I have a really hard time throwing it out. I think that if your going to kill an animal, it should at least be used to feed your family, right? Anywho, Ty has been waiting and waiting for this guy to finish with the taxidermy (sp?) and unfortunately for me, the guy finally finished (only took him 2 years). So here are pictures of the exciting? day when it was installed in the basement.

Brigham's Conversations

I have the best conversations with Brigham. I'm always looking at Ty saying, "Do most 3 year olds talk like that?" Yesterday, we were talking about his dad and I asked, "How come you have such a great dad?" His answer, "Because he knows where all the bathrooms are!" Man I love that kid!

Adoption Update

It's hard for me to keep up with who I tell what, so I thought I would give everyone an update here. If you're a little behind, we are adopting! We were paper ready 2 weeks ago this past Wednesday. We've been shown to 2 birthmoms who didn't pick us. We've turned down being shown to 3 birthmoms due to birthmom doing cocaine, cost too high, etc. We had a neighbor call us about someone they knew, but the baby was caucasian. We are so positive we are looking for a dark skinned little boy out there. The craziest part is that 4 of these 6 babies are born. So if we had matched, we would have our baby home with us right now! So because we kept thinking it could happen any day, this past weekend we did the bedroom moving. Macy moved into Kamryn's large room that is truly meant for 2 kids and Brigham moved into Macy's old room. Because of my awesome friend Cari Gardner and her sister-in-law, Ally, the nursery can now be called a nursery. The onesies and jammies are sorted by size and ready to go. The crib is set up, there is a swing, a cradle, a bouncer, (see I told you, they set me up!) So today I got another call, a baby being born in Lousiana, so again here goes the showing of the profile and we should find out by the end of next week if she picked us. Too bad my friend Angie doesn't live in New Orleans anymore, if she does pick us I'll have to stay there 7-10 days before I can bring the baby back to Utah. This one's not due until December 4th, so we have some time to arrange everything. But, who knows if we'll be picked or not! The roller coaster ride of adoption!

Venting

You know how sometimes you just need to vent. Well I feel that way today and I feel like it needs to be somewhat public, not just a journal entry on my new favorite website ldsjournal.com. So I apologize to any who read and don't appreciate hearing me complaining, but I don't think too many people read this blog anyway.

Chronic pain SUCKS! (My kids are not allowed to use that word, but it seemed appropriate in this circumstance.) I've been feeling better lately and today I just hurt! I hurt in every joint, every muscle, every nerve, everywhere. And I've always prided myself that I've been able to tolerant high amounts of pain and I think, "Well there you have it, you get prideful about something and the next thing you know, your being told 'well if your so good at handling pain, here you go, now let's see how you handle it 24/7.'" So I hurt every day, every hour, every minute, every second. It just really makes life difficult. It interferes with every aspect of my life.

For the most part I've come to accept it. I don't like the sound of that word accept. I don't mean that I've given up, for me it means, I've accepted that I no longer have the life I used to have. That acceptance has helped me a lot, I have let go of a lot of the guilt of not doing things I used to, I let myself rest (because I absolutely HAVE to) without feeling guilty or angry with myself. Through this acceptance I have also become a very grateful person, I notice the little things and am soo grateful for them.

But today, I'm a complainer, maybe even a whiner. I hate to hear people say that someone went through a trial and never complained. REALLY? Like I said, I've come to a good place within all this, but some days I just have to complain. I just have to say, "This sucks!" "I hate this!" "Why me?" Then I get on with my life, but I think that if I didn't express what I was feeling, then it would build and build inside me and eventually I would burst.

See I feel better already, I just needed to vent today. Thanks....

BYU Football

What an amazing game tonight. I was truly impressed with the BYU team. They were up against a formidable opponent, yet they never gave up the fight. The crazy thing is that my heart keeps going to the poor Oklahoma team. This must have been a devastating loss for them. I love sports, but wish that there didn't always have to be a loser. No matter how you look at it, there is always a loser, no way around it. Of course my mind than goes to life. I am so grateful that in life there doesn't HAVE to be a loser. There are those that choose that path, but life is such that we can ALL win. We just have to persevere. I like to think that I am like the BYU team tonight. I am up against a formidable opponent, yet I continue to fight.

My little guy's Big day!

Today was Brigham's first day of Preschool. Man I think I'm feeling more melancholy than I have with any of the kids. Maybe it's because he's my baby (for now anywho!). I just kept thinking he's too little and then I would look at him and go, oh yeah, he's gotten so big. I think sometimes we as mothers don't notice how big until big events like this. We block it all out, we're in denial and then one day I'm sure I'm going to say, "Wait, he just started preschool, he can't be going on a mission!"Goofy Pics!!!

In front of his preschool & sitting at his table! What a cutie!!!

Crawdad Fishin'

Our good friends, the Dunns, invited us to go crawdad fishin' again this year! My kids love it! We haven't gone for 4 years and luckily this time Kamryn didn't fall in the lake again. Unfortunately I haven't been able to go either time, maybe next year! I guess after you catch the crawdads you cook them up for dinner. I asked the kids if they tasted like shrimp. "No, kind of like chicken, but their not very good!" Thanks Dunns!
Kinsie, after pulling up her catch.

Kinsie and Brigham waiting for a crawdad to bite.

Macy's not afraid to hold a crawdad!

Neither is Kamryn!

Love this picture of my beautiful Macy girl!

Good friend, Cessalea Dunn.

Good friend, Jen Labrum.

The Frandsen kids, Gabe and Ava.

Good friends, Tara and Paul Frandsen.