Do you ever feel like you can't handle one more thing on top of everything else? I've been feeling that way. With my dumb Fibromylgia everything is harder than it used to be. It takes longer to do things, some things I just can't do anymore, which makes me sad. And it's difficult always living in pain. Then you add 5 kids, 1 being an active little cutie that is starting to get into everything. Then you start school, which includes soccer practices and games. Piano practice and lessons. Cheer carpool, school chorus. Young Womens & Activity Days. Don't forget homework (Ugh, I still hate homework & it's not even mine!). Making sure that the kids get their daily chores done and they are reading every day. Trying to make daily family prayers, morning and night, a habit. Oh and my church calling (which is actually pretty easy) Activity Day Leader. I volunteer to make food for a funeral (because we're supposed to, right?). It's canning season and we are out of all sorts of stuff. So far I've canned salsa, pears, & pickles. Spaghetti sauce is on the list (hope I get to it before those tomatoes in the garage go bad!). Then there's the stuff that never goes away: housecleaning, laundry, making dinner, dishes, etc. etc. Normally I would be doing yardwork, but that doesn't happen much anymore with this body. I have been trying to clean out closets, etc. My sister, Marianne, & I have a yard sale scheduled next Saturday. Then there's paying bills and balancing the check book. I also do that at the car lot and for my parent's while they are on their mission. Oh and I almost forgot, working from home about 20 hours a week. In betweeen I try to squeeze in reading the scriptures, exercising, and reading a good book. Needless to say, there is no room for anything extra. I have been heard to say over the last couple of weeks, "I don't think I can do this anymore." (Anybody else feeling tired, just reading all of that?)
But what is interesting about life, is that when you are truly maxed out, the Lord steps in. I truly have felt that there isn't a free second. Yet when we all get a little sick and I'm getting calls from school, I AM able to do it. How? Surely not by myself. Remember I can't do it anymore. The day that I was already driving cheer carpool without a second to spare, I get a call from the family picking up, asking if I can pick up. In my mind I'm thinking, "there is no way". But I say yes, and guess what I was actually able to do it. Me, by myself? I think not.
I am inspired by so many people who keep going, even when life is hard. Probably my #1 inspiration (blogwise) is NieNie. I look at her and how hard everything must be for her, yet she keeps moving forward. I came across another blog where a young mother recently lost her daughter. Her motto is "I CAN DO HARD THINGS". I have been saying this to myself recently when I'm having an extra hard day.
But the #1 thing that I have to remember is that when I feel like I can no longer do ANYTHING, there is someone who can and will pick up the slack, I just have to ask.