Thursday, September 16, 2010

Do you ever feel this way?

Do you ever feel like you can't handle one more thing on top of everything else? I've been feeling that way. With my dumb Fibromylgia everything is harder than it used to be. It takes longer to do things, some things I just can't do anymore, which makes me sad. And it's difficult always living in pain. Then you add 5 kids, 1 being an active little cutie that is starting to get into everything. Then you start school, which includes soccer practices and games. Piano practice and lessons. Cheer carpool, school chorus. Young Womens & Activity Days. Don't forget homework (Ugh, I still hate homework & it's not even mine!). Making sure that the kids get their daily chores done and they are reading every day. Trying to make daily family prayers, morning and night, a habit. Oh and my church calling (which is actually pretty easy) Activity Day Leader. I volunteer to make food for a funeral (because we're supposed to, right?). It's canning season and we are out of all sorts of stuff. So far I've canned salsa, pears, & pickles. Spaghetti sauce is on the list (hope I get to it before those tomatoes in the garage go bad!). Then there's the stuff that never goes away: housecleaning, laundry, making dinner, dishes, etc. etc. Normally I would be doing yardwork, but that doesn't happen much anymore with this body. I have been trying to clean out closets, etc. My sister, Marianne, & I have a yard sale scheduled next Saturday. Then there's paying bills and balancing the check book. I also do that at the car lot and for my parent's while they are on their mission. Oh and I almost forgot, working from home about 20 hours a week. In betweeen I try to squeeze in reading the scriptures, exercising, and reading a good book. Needless to say, there is no room for anything extra. I have been heard to say over the last couple of weeks, "I don't think I can do this anymore." (Anybody else feeling tired, just reading all of that?)

But what is interesting about life, is that when you are truly maxed out, the Lord steps in. I truly have felt that there isn't a free second. Yet when we all get a little sick and I'm getting calls from school, I AM able to do it. How? Surely not by myself. Remember I can't do it anymore. The day that I was already driving cheer carpool without a second to spare, I get a call from the family picking up, asking if I can pick up. In my mind I'm thinking, "there is no way". But I say yes, and guess what I was actually able to do it. Me, by myself? I think not.

I am inspired by so many people who keep going, even when life is hard. Probably my #1 inspiration (blogwise) is NieNie. I look at her and how hard everything must be for her, yet she keeps moving forward. I came across another blog where a young mother recently lost her daughter. Her motto is "I CAN DO HARD THINGS". I have been saying this to myself recently when I'm having an extra hard day.

But the #1 thing that I have to remember is that when I feel like I can no longer do ANYTHING, there is someone who can and will pick up the slack, I just have to ask.

8 comments:

misssrobin said...

I am even more tired than usual after reading that first paragraph.

Yes, He will step in. And He does.

But please make sure to whittle out some selfish time for you. It's important to take care of yourself. Your body is your stewardship. Your mental health is your responsibility.

Make the time. You deserve it.

jen said...

When we list all the things we do as LDS moms, it is overwhelming, and I can't imagine adding fibromyalgia on top of it all.
Not to mention sending darling gifts to friends in the mail--it came yesterday, already with one birthday included :)
I can't imagine what that's like. But one thing's for sure. "We're all doing better than we think." Remember that!
Hugs to you today!

Angie said...

I totally hear you! Some days it just seems like too much, and yet we somehow find a way to get through it all. I agree with taking time for yourself....

Kristin said...

Thanks for the reminder that we don't have to do it alone. I know that would be impossible. I've been feeling EXACTLY the same way. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way. Thanks for the post, and good luck with it all!!!

The Christensen Family said...

Loved your post. I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for putting into words exactly how I've been feeling lately. You're doing a great job and you have a beautiful family, and that is something to be very proud of!

Amy Lou said...

Thanks for this post! I needed to hear that I am not the only one that feels this way. You are amazing!!!

kimberlina said...

I just found your blog through H2H. We just adopted our second baby with them two and half months ago. I was so moved by your post especially because I'm having health problems lately, and it's been so overwhelming with 4 little ones. I really can't function like my old self, but I do keep on going, and as you said, somehow things get done and the children are all alive and fed at the end of every day.

The Christensen Family said...

Kristen, I don't know how I missed this post, but am just reading it today. First let me say that I admire you so much. Just hearing your list is incredible for anyone not living with chronic pain. Then even with all of that you look to find something positive. I think you are amazing, and I would be happy to help you on any day of the week!